"In class, one thing someone got pretty upset about was the idea of mixed orientation marriages. They said this was something forced on them to help them fit in. But I think we need a more eternal perspective. Finding the companionship of someone worthy and uplifting (if not sexually attractive) is a positive thing for those who feel that that is right. I don't see that they are giving up anything--they are getting sealed to a great person that they love, and given the chance to bring children into the world. Don't you believe that they will get the chance to become perfected in heaven? At that point, whatever qualms they had about sexual attraction will be gone and the relationship that they have built will be a source of great blessings and happiness.
That being said, I don't think every one in that situation has to get married on this Earth. I don't know how I would handle such a difficult situation, but I imagine that for many, a mixed orientation marriage would be really, really hard. But no matter whether they can get married on Earth or not, they will have the opportunity after death. Another thing I am thinking is that God gives us weakness and trials so that we can come unto him. I can't think of a trial more difficult than dealing with those feelings and a knowledge of the truth for my whole life. But I think that the members of the church who struggle with same sex attraction must be very, very strong or God wouldn't have given them this challenge. Weakness isn't sin and the fact that good, faithful members deal with this challenge and desires positively is amazing and inspiring to me."
Jessica Vance
Saturday, October 8, 2011
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Something that I found really interesting when we were listening to the guy in class talk about being married to his wife was.. he said that he was only physically attracted to his wife after they were married for a while.I agree with you that the Lord gives certain things to people so that they will come unto Him and that He will help them to handle it. Something that I kept thinking about after that class, though, was that Heavenly Father must have helped him to become physically attracted to his wife because he was making righteous choices and doing righteous things and he really did love his wife, he just was never attracted to her.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think that it's great that he was able to choose an eternal companion based on the spiritual and intellectual relationship that they had. I think that's how it should be with everyone.
-McKenna Talley
Mixed orientation marriage should not be forced. Those that have mixed orientation shouldn't feel like they have to get married. I think that if a couple is to marry then they should definitely include Heavenly Father in their decision. I think it would be very hard for both people in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteI think that same sex attraction is just another trial given to someone in this life. It is something that they must work with everyday of their life. I think it would be very hard to struggle with this and be a member of the church. It is something that as members we tend to fear, but that we need to accept. I don't know how same sex attraction will come into play in the eternities and I don't think it is something to worry about. It is in God's hands and that is all that matters.
-Josi Hepworth
I completely agree with the fact that same sex attraction is a trial that some people have to go through in this life and that those people who are trying to overcome their problem are very strong people. I admire the guy who came to speak to our class about his story and for the strength and courage that he had to try to overcome his problem. I truly believe that since he made the choice to marry someone that he was spiritually attracted to (not to try to cure himself) and that he loved being with, that the Lord blessed him with a physical attraction to his wife. I understand that this is extremely hard to do, but anything is possible with faith and the Lord's help. I definitely agree with the statements that were made saying that we could all learn from this guy and put spiritual attraction at the top of our lists when choosing an eternal companion.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you in the fact that it is not something that is forced upon people in order for them to fit into society. Marriage is definitely not a good way to "fix" someone of different sexual orientation. It is not a solution to the problem but it should be addressed carefully and the guest speaker we had is proof that it can happen.
ReplyDeleteThey should be given the same chances to have that relationship with a person. It will probably always be a struggle for them in their life even within the bonds of eternal marriage but that doesn't mean they are committing a sin. I completely agree with you on the fact that it is a weakness given to certain individuals just like smoking or swearing is a weakness for certain people. The fact that they have these feelings is not sin. However, they should be a able to enjoy the blessings of eternal marriage with the right person.
Tracy Voelkl
I think all of the comments that have been made are really well thought out and represent a great point. Like one girl in our class said, one of the men in her stake who had led a homosexual lifestyle, and then met the missionaries, gained a testimony, got baptized, etc. and felt that he had an opportunity to help bring children into the world and got married. It wasn't a solution to fix him, but he realized that he wanted to be part of that great blessing that is promised to each of us on the earth.
ReplyDeleteWhen the guest speakers with same-sex attraction came to speak to our class, you could see that the man who was presenting found great joy in having a little daughter and even said, "this is proof that a half-gay baby is still cute". He is given the same blessing of finding joy in his offspring and posterity, as is every other person in the world.
He also said that marriage should never be suggested as the solution to "fix" someone or "cure" them of their homosexuality. But it can be a great blessing to them to have a complete and loving confidant who will always be there to trust and help, when temptation is stronger.
Like the Proclamation to the Family says, Happiness in family life is most likely to be
achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Although I cannot claim to know the difficulty and intensity of living with a same-sex attraction, I know that happiness does not have to be founded upon finding your partner sexually and physically compatible. True love comes when you love them with their faults, strengths, quirks, imperfections. I really admire those individuals who shared their story and I hope that they will find happiness in a partner, whether in this life or the next.
P.S. That was by me, Jennie LeFevre (jnew)
ReplyDeleteI was super impressed by the guest speakers we had. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be for them. They have my utmost respect for the decisions they have made and followed in their lives. Their devotion and loyalty to God and His commandments should be an example to everyone.
ReplyDeleteI had never really considered the idea of a mixed orientation marriage before this class. I don't think I could do it. It should definitely not be forced. Unless the two involved are completely open and honest, have a very deep understanding of each other, and are sure that their love is solid, the relationship could turn south at an instant. However, for those who can do it AND want to (like the guy in class), I have no problem.
Thank goodness for our testimonies of the Gospel and God's plan for us. Where would we be without its guidance? I hope and pray for all those who may struggle with same gender attraction.
JB
The guest speaker who spoke about his homosexuality and his marriage to his wife really impressed me and opened up my eyes. I felt that he was incredibly brave for coming to class and speaking about a subject that is usually uncomfortable for people, especially here at BYU. At first I assumed that he got married to his wife because of the pressure he faced from his family or gospel teachings, and that he got married to “cure” his homosexuality. I’m really glad that he clarified that he didn’t get married to “cure” himself, but because he had a strong emotional and spiritual connection with his wife. It also really strengthened my testimony of this gospel when he told us that even though he wasn’t able to “cure” his homosexuality, he slowly became attracted with his wife and was able to have a baby with her. It really showed that he had a tremendous amount of faith in the gospel to trust God so willingly, and that God in return does help us overcome our weaknesses and blesses us for our obedience.
ReplyDeleteHomosexual, or heterosexual, I feel that everyone deserves a chance to reap the blessings of eternal marriage. Heavenly Father definitely will help you overcome weaknesses of all kinds if you put your total faith in Him. The guest speaker really helped me realize that homosexuality is more of a weakness than a sin. Being homosexual in the church doesn’t make you a “bad person” and with a lot of faith and prayers, someone who is homosexual can still enjoy the blessings of an eternal marriage and family.
Shelise Ikari